All posts by jane

Experienced-Based Opinions

Goals for kids

Something I put together thinking about what I would like to have taught my kids. They are all grown now with kids of their own:

Goals for Kids’ Learning

  1. Who God is
  2. Honesty
  3. Humility
  4. Forgiveness
  5. Work ethic
  6. How to relax
  7. Contentment
  8. Observation skills (learning from others and your surroundings)
  9. How to absorb and retain new knowledge
  10. Drive a car
  11. Balance a checkbook
  12. Make and KEEP a budget
  13. Plan and make a meal
  14. Hem pants or skirt
  15. Patch a hole in jeans, re-sew a seam
  16. Clean a bathroom, kitchen, living room
  17. Make a bed
  18. Set a table
  19. Shop for groceries – and tell what’s the best buy
  20. Mow a lawn and trim
  21. Do laundry, fold clothes
  22. Get out a stain
  23. Sweep and mop a floor
  24. Iron a shirt, pants, etc.
  25. Simple plumbing repair (leaky toilet, leaky sink)
  26. Find something in the Bible
  27. Use a computer
  28. Fill out a job application
  29. Look for an apartment
  30. Calculate interest on a loan
  31. Make a list of values
  32. Know what you are good at (your strengths)
  33. Know what your weaknesses are
  34. Have an idea of qualities you want in a life-mate
  35. Security comes from God

Poetry

Out of Egypt

I’m a princess of Egypt –
My mother was the Queen of Denial.
She ruled her domain
With a scepter of shame
Kept her dignity all the while.

The rules of the kingdom
Not spoken at all
Kept the terror of truth at bay:
Daddy’s not drunk
He’s asleep on the floor
The wolf is not at the door.

It didn’t really happen
If you don’t talk about it.
You are just like everyone else.
The pain that you feel will just go away
If you keep it all to yourself.

Don’t talk about it,
Don’t think about it,
Don’t do anything at all.
Keep it inside,
Hold it inside,
Your home is in Egypt’s wall.

But I heard a story
Said I could be free
If I opened my heart to the truth.
Told all the tales
Let out my fears
And regrets of my wasted youth.

But I’m not going home anymore
Egypt’s a dream I don’t need
There’s freedom to be had
When I let it all go
And face every day unafraid.

And I’m gonna talk about it,
I’m gonna think about it,
I’m gonna do what needs to be done.
Gonna let go of pain,
Won’t live there again,
‘Cause Egypt’s no longer my home!

Jane ‘05
(this is about recovering as a co-dependent)

Experienced-Based Opinions

Decisions, Decisions

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Although I firmly believe in the Sovereignty of God, I also believe in God’s designation of man as created in His image with a God-like quality: the ability to make choices.  Of course, there are other characteristics of man that separate him from other created breathing beings, including plants and animals, but choice is a critical entry and connecting point in relationship.  Problems arise when we either accept all events blindly, as if we had no part in their cause and no ability to change their course.  Or if we allow ourselves to be blown about by every wind and not recognize our own power to choose.

My understanding of the Sovereignty of God is that He has delegated powers to us as His image-bearers – and rarely steps in to alter the natural course of events put into place by our choices. These choices have consequences.  And often we make choices without understanding the deep consequences of the choices we make – and their very long term impact.

I do believe that God has ultimate understanding – of us as persons including our innermost desires and abilities – and of others and the universe. And, as the master chess player that He is, He can predict how decisions we make will interact with others and what those long term consequences and outcomes will be. He can choose to act in response to prayer or to prevent a negative intersection with some other person down the road. Or He can NOT act because He sees some ultimate good that will come out of some temporary evil.
I don’t have all the answers to the dilemma of evil, the question of how God can be sovereign and NOT the author of evil but yet permit it to exist. I do know that continuing to trust and faithfully believe is my intention for as long as I’m on this planet!

Poetry

What can we offer

What can we offer to those who come after?

Stories of battle and victory?

Triumphant shouts and accolades?

Treasures retrieved and dragons destroyed?

Sometimes, it seems that the song that I sing

Is more of a dirge than a dance.

The smallest of joys seems forged from great pain

And defeat seems a constant refrain.

The lessons seem to say that happiness is snatched

From the teeth of a merciless beast:

To take for the moment the juice that is there

Lest someone else take it away.

But if I change the view from my analytical chair

To a wider and longer perspective,

I see I have a bigger part

Than the walk-on role in this play.

And little decisions and actions I take

Have an influence on time’s river course

And thought that I use to contain or express

Is noticed, is rewarded, is blessed.

And the child that I teach or the friend I encourage

Can multiply the fruit of my work

If I just keep planting and trusting the One 

Who will gather all things in His time.

Jane 9/2010

Poetry

Disappearance

It’s sad to see you disappear

Slowly fading away

I hardly noticed it at first

The barest hint of gray.

The words you spoke were not so firm

Your laughter slightly absurd.

You looked past me when we spoke

As you seemed to ponder each word.

The change was oh so slow —

I thought I’d accommodated.

I thought I had learned to accept

This different way we related.

But you slipped ever further away

I could not hold you in place.

We were strangers who barely touched

Till you no longer saw my face.

I grieve the past and the future

Find it hard to enjoy the today

It’s easier to never approach

It’s easier to walk away.

But I open my heart to the pain

Seek patience to carry through.

And long for the day when once more

You will be the real you.

Jane  2006  

Breastfeeding Blogs

Articles from Hope breastfeeding support

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Strategies for moms anticipating breastfeeding difficulties.

This page is designed for moms who have previously experienced breastfeeding difficulties or have been informed by a skilled provider that they MIGHT have difficulty breastfeeding. These strategies do NOT guarantee that mom will avoid these problems, but serve as a sample of actions that moms have taken that have proven successful in their breastfeeding journey.

Flat or Inverted Nipples

A flat nipple is one that, when the areola is compressed about an inch behind the nipple, flattens out and appears level with the surround areola or becomes thick and barely protrudes past the surface.  An inverted nipple pulls behind the surface of the areola and may pull inward into the breast.

Prenatally:  Try Supple cups starting at least 8 weeks before delivery. Check out supplecups.com for product information. Begin using these as per instructions. Consider purchasing softshells for inverted nipples http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/103/softshells-for-inverted-nipples to wear over the supple cups to allow longer periods of wearing to help correct the condition prior to delivery.

After Delivery: Try Latch Assistant by Lansinoh. This can be used on the nipple itself or placed over a nipple shield (if needed) to draw the nipple out or to pull inside the shield before latching.

Supple cups can also to be used in the same way.

History of Latch difficulties with delayed or slow onset of Stage 2 of lactogenesis.

Research has shown that optimal breast stimulation and expression of colostrum during the first 72 hours after delivery can double milk output at 10 days.

  1. Initiate breastfeeding within the first hour after delivery with mom in laid-back position, using biological nurturing approach. See: http://hopebreastfeedingsupport.com/the-first-100-hours-getting-breastfeeding-off-the-ground/ for more basic tips.  If areola is tight (feels like your chin or the end of your nose), use reverse pressure softening and areolar expression to increase nipple availability before baby latches.  See:  http://hopebreastfeedingsupport.com/video-resources/.   Once baby has latched, remain reclined throughout the feeding. Switch breasts when baby starts to pause a lot (usually every 5 minutes or so). At 24 hours, begin softening and expression before every feed, even if you don’t think your areola is firm.
  2. Ask for a hospital breast pump to be brought to you right away, along with syringes for milk collection. If your baby is not latching well by 12 hours, begin using breast pump in addition to hand-expressing. 
  3. Offer the breast every 2 hours until 10:00 at night, and then every 3 hours during the night. If baby is too sleepy to latch, hand express about 10 minutes and then pump for 15 minutes. Give any colostrum to the baby by finger-feeding. This is for first 3 days of life. Pump early/pump often!
  4. If your baby cannot latch to the breast or stops latching, ask for a small and a large nipple shield. Try both to see if baby can latch to either. Ask for demonstration from your care provider.  If you have not started pumping yet, begin doing so. Pumping in the first 3 days should be about 15 minutes using the Symphony initiation program. Once your milk starts coming in, use the maintenance program and move the vacuum up to about 10 bars on the screen.  Ask for written instructions for pump use. Plan on taking a rental pump home from hospital if needed. Remember milk does not start squirting until Day 7 after delivery.
  5. Check baby’s suck using your thumb to see if baby is drawing your thumb back to the back of her tongue or is only “peanut butter sucking” on the tip of your thumb. Sometimes a little suck training before latch can correct what is just a habit baby has at birth.
  6. If no comfortable latch, strong latch is obtained, plan to see a lactation consultant around 4th-5th day (optimal time when milk surge normally begins and baby is more alert).
  7. Monitor baby’s weight loss. If mom’s milk is not coming in quickly, have donor milk or ready to feed formula available for early supplementation as needed. Many organizations recommend hydrolyzed formula if human milk is not available.  If supplementation is needed in the hospital after the first day, ask for oral syringes and a feeding tube for easier finger feeding or at breast supplementation. If long-term supplementation is required, a Dr. Brown’s bottle and side-lying baby-led bottlefeeding technique can be used.  See information and videos http://hopebreastfeedingsupport.com/video-resources/.  

Breastfeeding Assistive Devices 

(available from walmart.com, amazon.com and target.com)

  • Latchassist by Lansinoh
  • Hydrogels by Medela (2 pkgs)
  • Nipple shields 20 and 24 (if not obtained from hospital)
  • Bacitracin
  • Medela Harmony manual pump
  • Haaka milk collector
  • Tube top – makes a comfortable holder for nursing pads, can be used as a pumping bra
  • Dr. Brown’s 4 oz regular newborn bottle (not glass, not wide mouth)
  • Microwave sterilizer bag (if you have a microwave)

From Hospital

  • Oral syringes – 12 ml at least 3
  • Pump kit
  • Rental pump
  • Feeding tube (used for finger-feeding or at breast supplementation

A word of Encouragement

Did you know?

In a study conducted with moms with history of breastfeeding difficulties, that 95% of them had success with following births – even if the previous breastfeeding experience was not what was expected or planned? This just validates that every breastfeeding experience is unique with a unique baby and a mom with a different (and growing) skill set! It’s just like childbirth – each birth, each mother-child relationship is different, but all are valuable!