When I wake up each morning my heart fills with praise
As I think of Your mercy, Your love and Your grace
Though my body may fail and my eyes cease to see
My heart will rejoice in your promise to me

 Chorus

For each day I tarry, on this troubled ground
Your love is my portion since you I have found  
You promised to give me what I hungered for 
To live in your presence for evermore. 
And when my life’s over, I’ll sing this to you 
Your unending mercies each morning are new. 

Verse 2

When I lay my head down at the end of the day 
I recount all the blessings you’ve sent my way
 And though I’ve had sorrows I could not bear
I knew from your word,
You would always be there.

You promised to give me what I hungered for 
To live in your presence for evermore. 
And when my life’s over, I’ll sing this to you
Your unending mercies each morning are new.  

For each day I tarry on this troubled ground
Your love is my portion, since you I have found
When trials arise and when life falls apartYou are still with me, O Lord of my heart

Verse 3:

When I rise in the night and can no longer sleep
I rest in your love, mighty and deep
Though my mind is awash with how often I fall
You whisper that you are redeeming it all

Chorus:

You promised to give me what I hungered for ~
To live in your presence for evermore
And when my life’s over, I’ll sing this to you
Your unending mercies each morning are new!

2024 

Music and Lyrics by Jane (editing by Kristy)

A year ago, my eyes were opened to your distress

I saw a you I’d never seen before-

Lost, alone, bereft,

The light gone from your eyes.

And I could not reach you – no matter how I pled

A year ago, I saw your path

And fell to my knees begging God – 

To shine the light on you

To lead you out

To show you truth

To save you.

Three times you fell

And struggled back.

And then you left.

I never heard your voice again.

Oh my son,

I weep because I will never see your face again.

I weep for the end.

I weep for the day when I will see you once more.

And know that you are safe.

And I will weep no more.

Jane 2017

It’s nearing 6 months since we sold the home my husband (with a little help from friends, family and myself) built for us. When we built that place, we thought of it as our forever home. We didn’t take into account that the family we had then, our abilities, endurance and needs would change in a few years. We had to let go of a lot of our preconceived ideas of what aging would do with us. As time has advanced, we have become more aware of the temporariness of our physical and mental abilities.

We were happy that a lovely family took residence – and we know they will love our place as much as we did.

We moved into a place that was a true fixer-upper. We didn’t really look at this place thoroughly before we committed, but I did and still do believe it was the place God wanted us to have. We have lovely neighbors and it’s a nice little town. But it’s a bit like adopting a teenager instead of giving birth and shaping the little one to your family values. This teenager(adult) has a mind of its own and wasn’t put together in the best way to start with! Some things we can fix, others we will have to just cope with.

We have spent a lot of money and time working on this place to make it our own, make it livable and give it our own stamp. And there’s still a lot to do. But we are hoping it will be a home base where we can still create and serve as long as we are physically and mentally able. We have to decide what possessions we must keep and what we can give away. Time is a gift and a thief!

But more important than these temporary abodes is the prospect of our eternal home awaiting us. We look forward to being with Jesus, walking and talking with Him, perhaps in the Garden of Eden.

We really don’t know what lies on the other side, but we DO know that Jesus will be there and we’ll be like Him, in His presence, without pain or sorrow.

In the meantime, it’s important to keep our eyes on Jesus, to keep in mind that we are in a war that Christ has already won but not completed yet. We are to carry the gospel to those who don’t know Him.

It seems to me that folks in every field attempt to categorize everything. Perhaps it’s a method of being able to understand how things work by extrapolating from known to the unknown. Perhaps it’s a way of making predictions for the future. Perhaps it’s a way of manipulating facts and controlling behaviors.

Some examples? Astrology, Myers-Briggs personality typing (and all that ilk), IQ tests, Spiritual gift tests, etc. In the material world we categorize vehicles as sedans, SUV’s, trucks, passenger vans, cargo vans, etc.  In the animal world, we categorize by species. When we categorize, we develop a mental picture and expectations for that category. We would not accept a cat that looked like an elephant. In the material world, preparing our expectations through identifying the category of the object we are encountering helps to modify our reactions. Improper categorization can lead to unrealistic expectations and either disappointment or surprise.

When it comes to human beings however, I am beginning to wonder if the need and the effort we put into categorizing each other has some negative consequences. If I judge someone by their behavior, am I writing them off in the future, am I having expectations for them that are unrealistic or not in keeping with truth? It is definitely a challenge to note what God has to say about making judgements.

Here are some verses on judgement:

John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance but judge righteous judgement.

James 2:13 for he shall have judgment without mercy, that has shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment.

Psalms 37:30 The mouth of the righteous speaketh widom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.

Psalms 119:66 Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments

Matthew 7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall also be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

Romans 2:3 And thinkest thou this, O man, that judgest them which do such things, and doest the same, that thou shalt escape the judgment of God?

1Corinthians 6:4 If then ye have judgements of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.

1 Samuel 16:7b For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.

In these contexts, I see judgment being exercised individually against individuals and corporately against both individuals and groups. There are lots of verses about judgment in the Old Testament, but much fewer in the New Testament. It seems that once God became incarnate in Jesus, He began to convey to mankind how far we had missed the mark of righteousness.

What I wonder about is why we feel the need to compartmentalize people? Is it self-protection? Is it our own insecurities about our weaknesses and fallibility? The older I get, the more I am aware of my own failures and limitations – and realize that those will only grow as my body and mind begin to grow weaker. I know that when this mortal shall put on immortality, all that I have known on this earth will be dust compared to what I will experience when I am with Jesus. My prayer and hope is that I will become more like Him, walk in the Spirit more with better spiritual discernment, and that I will point others to Him more clearly. The only treasures we can lay up in heaven are those that have eternal value – souls who turn to Jesus and can join us in praise and worship someday.

I am still in my practice working with moms in their own homes. Going to a conference tomorrow.  I keep telling myself, “this is the last one”. And perhaps it will be. I am still capable of learning and absorbing new knowledge and am so hoping that someone will have discovered something new and earth-shaking that will help the most desperate moms I care for. Here’s to continuing to learn!

In a bit more than 2 weeks, I will be heading back to Italy to meet my new grandbaby and see my little grandson who lives there. I am so excited. I love the fact that I will be able to provide the same kind of help for them that my mom did for me for my second, third and fourth babies. This will be new for me. My older son lived close by and really didn’t have space for me to come stay in the first days. Hope to be more help with Mini-Cooper number 2!

Life continues to move forward. I will be back to painting in a few weeks. The grave where Tim’s remains are is sinking – as they are wont to do. The flowers look a little beat up. But real life goes on.